It is five in the morning and I'm slowly reflecting on how much my life as changed. I say slowly reflecting because it really is hitting me at a rather slow pace. I am slowly coming to the understanding that I, indeed, don't have friends. I simply don't. I mean, I have a few people I hang out with and occasionally talk to, but I do not have friends. It's as simple as that. And I do suppose that this is indeed my fault, seeing as I basically locked myself away when I broke up with Michelle but I don't place all the blame on myself. I mean, it IS a two way street.

But it is okay. It's not like I really expected any of it to last anyway. I always felt more of a bother, a nuisance if you will, than a friend. But this is what life comes to, I guess. This is what it feels like to be 20 and sitting in a bed next to your girlfriend with sad, horrible music playing in the background.

Is this really how being an adult is? Drifting from place to place, face to face, job to job? Its miserable.

Does anyone even read this anymore?

Whatever.

I miss the people I used to talk to, the friends I had when I was in school because at least back then, I felt like I had fun or something akin to it. Now, I just want to cry. That could be my period talking, though. Whatever.

I'm turning 21 soon. Maybe I'll just become a drunk.

By the way.

I miss you guys.